The Cool Kids Manual To Handle Paradoxes
Recently, I was reminded of how confronting paradoxes can be for people. I lost that awareness because I have been dissolving paradoxes for eight years, often surrounded by people who understand and support that intense research.
However, for a lot of human beings, messing around with paradoxes is bunkers.
It all started when I read a post about some age-old paradox. With a brief glance, I could tell that in my world that paradox was a “no problema” kind of thing. I said as much in the comments and the OP got their knickers twisted over my response. They started berating me, throwing names and alleging that people greater than me had found no way to solve it.
I seriously doubted that was the case. Perhaps they were only misinformed — I thought.
Then, the cat inside myself took over with glee because she found a thing to toy around with.
I poked a bit more. I pointed out that the OP wasn’t even the one who came up with that paradox, so why the attachment to keep it that way? I got more irate responses from them.
That’s when it hit me.
The reaction I had just witnessed reminded me of the days when I would get angry at paradoxes. I would consider them unfair and fight them whilst shadowy and unconsciously preserving them. I was unable to dissolve paradoxes and that drove me really mad.
That paradox-related interaction was super nourishing, it spanned out an article about my initiation into chaos magic via logic and science. However, after that article, I wasn’t done with the topic of paradoxes. I was left with the sense that I could contribute more to the general state of the game.
So I decided to write this, a teeny tiny compendium containing all the juice I’ve extracted from my experiences dissolving paradoxes. Share the nuggets with the world and save some hassle for the ones who want to jump to the deep end of the pool.
Let’s start with the topic by saying that if you google “solving paradoxes” you’ll get a bunch of hits, mostly mathematical or philosophical and sadly most of them drier than the Sahara.
I reviewed a bunch and I struggled to remain awake.
From that standpoint, paradoxes don’t sound very exciting but in my world they are.
That’s because in my world, it is pretty much irrelevant to ponder “classical” paradoxes about barbers in isolated islands.
Where I get my juice is from everyday things that appear to me as “wrong” or “incongruent”. I am a pragmatic person who relishes the here and the now. I also believe that we already embody a set of paradoxes and live surrounded by them, so no need to strive to cure cancer to go deep in the world of paradox
For example, yesterday I was told that my north node is in Libra, which meant my south node is in Aries. Those well versed in the language of astrology can appreciate the movement from a sign that is all about “my will” and “what I want” to a sign that is about “others”.
Today, I was walking a couple of dogs, one on each hand. On my right hand, I had a feisty one who likes to start fights and boss other dogs around. On my left, I had a mellow and submissive one.
As I walked with them by my side, I got it. I felt both as one and the same. I physically experienced the union of Aries and Libra, of “I” and “we”. Even if right now I am yet not able to express in detail what it means for me to be in the middle of those seemingly opposing signs and to feel that paradox dissolving, I know that my body already knows the outcome of it.
And with this let us go into the first nugget.
I lead with the body.
I consider one side of the paradox as the ultimate truth. That is, there is no other way but that way. Feel it in my body. Pain, tension, relaxation, pressure and whatnot. Feel the emotions. sad, happy, angry, disgusted, afraid and so on. Feel the discomfort when I hold the side of the paradox which I am not in agreement with. Ah! Yes! Feel that truth and let it burn my entrails. Switch to the other side of the paradox and repeat.
I identify which side feels the most uncomfortable and only then, I allow the thoughts to flood me. Let it rip. Notice all the reasons; the “no”, “wrong” “dumb”, “impossible”, “unfair”, etc. But do that only now that I know how all those reasons feel in my body.
If you try this, assess where within your range you place your physical, emotional and mental discomfort. If you feel further exploration is within your range then get ready to rumble. However, there is no need to push forward or force yourself to face a paradox if you sense that’s taking you over the edge. Oftentimes, feeling plain sensation and matching it with emotions and thoughts is enough work.
The reason I suggest to be mindful at this step is that dissolving a paradox can lead to very overwhelming states. The ones where everything looks and feels the same, nothing makes sense and nothing feels truly real, where one has entered the very uncomfortable grounds of derealisation, depersonalisation and even dissociation. Though I have been there (I felt like a non-entity that was living in a simulation) and I made it out, it is not an ideal way to make sense of a paradox. Trust me on this one.
Why is it that those states occur when delving with paradoxes? Well, it’s all in the next nugget.
In my experience, to get to the other side of a paradox, an ego-death must occur.
Something has to go. A belief. A boundary. An attachment. An assumption. An expectation. Like Odin hanging from a tree to get the runes, something has to die to get the gold.
So this is an excellent time to get in the mood for some paradoxical fun.
Get your lab coat and become a researcher. Let’s say that you are torn between a mission to wake up every human being and focusing on your own awakening. So believe the first statement is the truth and nothing but the truth, and for a few months focus on waking up everybody. Everybody. Then swap around and ignore the awakening of others fully, just focus on yourself. Assess what you learn from both of the experiences.
Another interesting research can be to design separate experiments to prove each side of the paradox as true allowing all sorts of biases and “poor” research practices. This method reveals a lot about ourselves!
Also, you can ponder the side of the paradox that you are the most uncomfortable with and ask yourself, what beliefs do I need to let go so that can be true in my world? Am I willing to let go of those beliefs? What are the implications of letting those beliefs go? What boundaries break if that awful option is actually true? What am I afraid of? What do I want to control? What things I don’t have power over? What things are no longer serving me?
The point of all these suggestions is to allow yourself to become as gooey as possible. Like a caterpillar waiting to become a butterfly.
Two things are important to have in mind for this ego-death process. First, constantly check with your body and your mind and assess if you are still within range. Second, I strongly suggest you have someone by your side who is aware of what you are doing and why. A coach, therapist, teacher, friend, etc, basically anyone you are happy to take reflection from and agrees to keep an eye on you from a distance.
If I dissolve a paradox and I “see the light” at the end of the tunnel, then I ground that new awareness with a practice.
Successful navigation of a paradox increases power, wisdom and creativity exponentially. The globular cluster of arborised realities ensures that the gold you get from solving a paradox percolates to many other elements of your life.
This is awesome and it can be very ungrounding.
For that reason, a minimal point of action to land and bring the outcome of that dissolution to this reality is what I suggest as the initial point of integration. A super easy step that can be effortlessly added to your life. Something like pouring a drop of water to the land for the fairies every day. A small and gentle action, yet supercharged with the energy of your journey.
Another good reason to ground with a practice is that gained wisdom quickly evaporates if it is not enacted promptly. That is because our system (mind, body, soul) will seek to stabilise/ground us as soon as possible after a dissolution. If we are not deliberate, the fastest way to reach stability/homeostasis is to lose what we just gained. A side effect of that loss is resentment, which is not fun to deal at all.
Having in mind the level of grounding needed after solving a paradox also involves pacing ourselves. If we are working on a ton of paradoxes simultaneously, we can easily propel ourselves outside of our range and, as I said earlier, that is not easy to address.
Becoming skilful at navigating paradoxes increases my skill at dissolving trauma and exercising my will.
One way I negotiate trauma with myself is by seeing it as the inability to solve a paradox that got stuck in my body-mind.
In short, trauma is what happens when I disagree with something and I can’t or won’t express that disagreement, or I express it but I am unable to stitch up a new version of reality that encloses both the thing I disagreed with and my disagreement coexisting without being at opposing sides.
In either case, the drive to dissolve that paradox gets ignited.
That means I freeze and get stuck in a moment until I resolve some conflicting elements.
For example, taking abuse from parental figures at an early age raises the conflict of wanting to be protected and simultaneously wanting to run away from those aforementioned figures.
Essentially, the paradox created by trauma is a question thrown to the universe and ourselves: what else? What else can I sense/feel/think/enact from a particular standpoint?
That call for what-else is raised because olden knowledge is met with a situation that demands a solution that is, paradoxically, inside and outside the scope of that level of awareness. There is a commitment to composing that solution, so if the what-else cannot be found in real time it gets pushed to some other time in the future. Therefore, the repetitive element that accompanies trauma.
Incidentally, addressing trauma as a paradox needing solution is the basis of one common mechanism of creation; the challenge-based or Promethean one.
So what does “will” have to do with all this?
Let me tell ya!
The story of the Fall of Man and the original sin is the story of a very much unsolved paradox that had traumatic consequences. Lil Eve dared to disagree, took the forbidden fruit, defied Sky Daddy and that got her and her partner the boot. Basically, her disagreement triggered the possibility of ego-death for a father figure who didn’t have the chops to go through it and everyone got stuck.
In some sense, will, free will, is solving that paradox and giving Eve the ability to hold space for Sky Daddy when she met him as an equal. Stitching a new version of reality where that trauma is no more. Exciting, huh?!?!
On a practical level, this is about growing and exercising will. That is, if I feel my body-mind is half-in for a situation, my will is half-in because then there are paradoxes/trauma needing dissolution to be 100% in.
If I exercise my will at that point, I know where I stand. Also, I have learnt to seize my chance when an opportunity to dissolve a paradox appears and I am in range to take it. I have learnt to identify when I am not able to handle a paradox and my best bet is to hand it over.
All I can say is that gathering the power to fully exercise will has become a game of mindfully yet efficiently dissolving paradoxes.
Last but not least, there are awesome things one gains from playing that paradox-dissolution game, like the ability to foster an internal sense of safety and live with more and more uncertainty. This happens because one moves from a linear and dual paradigm (if A then B else C) to a non-linear (and basically non-algorithmic) one (if * then *).
Anyway, I hope you made it all the way to this sentence. I truly hope you got something out of my paradoxical musings. I also hope you feel playful after so much material. Playful enough to play a game with the so-called paradox in the image. Tee hee. Have fun and do tell me what you get.
